When God Says, “Not Yet”
I used to treat singleness like a season to survive.
I assumed that marriage was where my life would begin, but singleness was something different. My season of singleness felt more like a holding pattern, a starting line, and then—on my darkest days—it could even feel like a prison sentence. It was only in marriage that my joy could be full (or so I believed at the time).
But when my unmarried season lingered longer than expected, frustration soon followed. I began to ask the same question over and over:
What are you doing, God?
It wasn’t until I opened my Bible and read some uncomfortable verses that I realized God had a plan all along. In 1 Corinthians 7, the apostle Paul writes:
“To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single … to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.” —1 Corinthians 7:8, 35 ESV
It is good for us to remain single? How could that possibly be?
I’ll be honest—Paul’s words did not sit well with me. Singleness felt more like a burden than a blessing. It certainly did not feel like something to be coveted.
But then, something happened that challenged my assumptions entirely. For the first time, I decided to simply give it a try. I started asking myself a new line of questions:
What if our singleness is an advantage? What if Paul’s words are actually true?
The longer I walked with the Lord as a single Christian, the more I began to see the world differently. I was not waiting for marriage for my life to begin, I was simply living my life with my Savior.
Instead of asking God to bring me a wife, I began asking God for perspective. I wanted to know what He was doing in me, and what, one day, He might want to do through me.
Here are three things I’ve discovered along the way:
1. Singleness reveals what truly satisfies.
There’s a lie that says marriage will fix our loneliness, validate our worth, or complete our identity. The truth is, only Jesus can do that. Singleness can feel exposing—but that’s what makes it so powerful as well. In the quiet of singleness, we’re confronted with our real needs, and we can let God meet them fully.
2. Singleness sharpens your purpose.
Without the commitments of marriage, you have freedom in a season of singleness—freedom to build, serve, learn, move to a new city, or say yes to God without hesitation. Paul called this an “undivided devotion to the Lord,” and it is a gift that only single Christians know.
3. Singleness strengthens your spirit.
Being a single Christian is not always easy. Believe me, I know! Proverbs 13:12 says that “Hope deferred makes the heart sick,” and as singles we understand this feeling. But even in that, God is working. Even in that, God has a plan. Scripture also tells us that suffering produces perseverance, and perseverance produces character (Romans 5:3–4). As we learn to surrender our timelines, trust God’s process, and anchor our identity in a relationship with Jesus, the spirit within us comes fully alive.
As we learn to surrender our timelines, trust God’s process, and anchor our identity in a relationship with Jesus, the spirit within us comes fully alive.
So then, here are my questions as I leave you today:
What if your season of singleness is not a setback? What if, to the contrary, God has decided to give you a biblical blessing?
What if you allowed yourself to believe, like Paul, that singleness is actually better at times?
What would life look like then?
Your desires might feel delayed, but you still have direction. Your prayers may feel unanswered, but they are not unheard.
You are not alone. You are not forgotten.
You are living the single’s advantage.
