Guarding Your Heart
Let me introduce you to two of my best friends. My Golden boys. Gospel and Watcher. Brothers from the same litter.
If you would have asked me ten years ago if I were the dog mom type, I probably would have said no. That version of me had little appreciation for animals. I thought they were stinky (which they are, but I don’t mind anymore) and too much work honestly. Where would I find the time & energy to manage a dog when I could barely manage to stay hydrated??
Turns out God has a funny way of using what might have once seemed unnecessary or even unwanted to bring you great joy. I love that about Him.
Gospel and Watcher have distinctly different personalities. Gospel is the care-free, happy go-lucky one of the pair.
God has a funny way of using what might have once seemed unnecessary or even unwanted to bring you great joy.
Watcher, on the other hand, is the protector. He’s the Shadow from Homeward Bound. (Fun fact, I made up lyrics to the theme song from that movie that make absolutely zero sense. Ask me about it sometime if you could use a little oil of joy).
When we think about a person who wants to protect their heart, we typically think of the beautiful verse in Proverbs↴
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)
Now, I don’t know about you, but for most of my life I interpreted this to mean shutting down and never going beyond the surface level with people, and especially not in romantic relationships. When I did open up I felt guilty, doomed and headed for heartbreak.
Call me crazy. But I don’t believe we are called to be surface level people. Here’s what I’ve learned through time with the Lord:
There’s a difference between opening up from a place of fear and insecurity and opening up from a place of confidence, humility and self-control. Sometimes self-protection is disguised as discernment. God wants your heart soft, not sealed. You can share your heart without breaking it or attaching too quickly, but it will require maturity and depth in the Lord.
Guarding my heart was often hard for me, not always because I was oversharing or opening up too soon, but because my self-worth was directly tied to people. I was pursuing the praise of man when I needed to pursue the presence of God. I wasn’t hitting that harmony between love, softness and discernment which made it difficult to develop a healthy connection.
We can’t predict longevity or patterns in people. That isn’t to say that we should brace ourselves for disappointment, we should be looking for good fruit, but even when we walk in the spirit of truth, wisdom and discernment, that doesn’t guarantee we will never be rejected or get hurt. This is why our secret place is so important.
Guarding your heart is an invitation to walk in wisdom, not withdraw from vulnerability.
How did Jesus guard His heart?
Even within His inner circle, which wasn’t randomly, but prayerfully chosen, there would still wind up being a person who wasn’t safe, yet he didn’t fear rejection.
Read that again. He didn’t fear rejection. And neither should we. We should ask for wisdom when it comes to who we share our heart with, while also staying closely connected to His heart. That way, if we do experience rejection, our roots are deep enough to recover without needing years of therapy. (Karla Callahan & Whitney Akins have powerful e-books on the subject of identity and taking the steps to overcome fear. Highly recommend, You can download them here).
Guarding your heart is an invitation to walk in wisdom, not withdraw from vulnerability.
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7 (NLT) If our identity depends on a person, His peace cannot be released. If we are led by emotions, worry and fear His peace cannot be released. If we want to receive this peace, we need to cast our cares on Him and be a prayerful people, continuously drawing near to Him.
I would encourage you to ask yourself some questions as you seek to protect your heart without locking up and living in fear↴
1. Am I building walls in my relationships to avoid rejection?
2. Am I mistaking self-protection for spiritual discernment?
3. Are there lies about my identity I am believing that cause me to shut people out or overprotect myself?
Okay, now circling back to my golden boys. I mentioned how Gospel is the love bug and Watcher is the look-out man. And both are needed, they complement each other. In the same way, guarding our hearts should be rooted in both love and discernment.
Remember that a heart guarded well isn’t locked up, it’s locked in to the ways of the kingdom. It’s a garden tended with grace, truth and sensitivity to the Holy Spirit.
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